Have you ever felt a potential love for someone?
Like, you don’t actually love them and you know you don’t, but you know you could. You realise that you could easily fall in love with them. It’s almost like the bud of a flower, ready to blossom but it’s just not quite there yet. And you like them a lot, you really do. You think about them often, but you don’t love them. You could, though. You know you could.
My god the accuracy of this statement
"I think the problem with us, with people, is that we spend so much time in search of ‘love’,
a foolish amount of time desperately searching in every nook and cranny for something we don’t even know for sure exists. We forgo so much pain and hurt in the process with countless people that make us…
Coldplay- Talk (Alternative Version)
I recently lost the best friend that I ever had. She knew me, she knew about me, every crease in my brain I had told her about and every crease in my brain she remembered. She was wonderful, she was my other half, she was everything I could have ever asked for in a friend and more. We grew close very fast and stayed close for very long. It came to the point where she could tell what I would say next and when I was at a loss for words she would be able to form my sentences for me. She knew everything that was wrong with me from diagnosed depression to family matters & she cared about it all. I knew everything about her everything. She knew all of my dreams and hopes and goals and I knew hers and I believed in her. She helped me over come my social anxieties and my overthinking and she pushed me into what I could say were some of the best times of my life. She made me who I am, or at least used to be (and hope to be again) presently. She was there for me when I did things wrong and she was there cheering me on in everything I managed to somehow do correctly. We did everything together, from playing guitars and singing on the floor together to eating everything in my fridge. Then one day came and she became distant. I blamed myself, it came to the point where I didn’t expect a happy birthday from my other half, I didn’t expect a text from her, nor did I expect a word at school. I blamed myself and I cut and i burnt and I cried and I hated myself for months, and I had another person who I became close with, he doesn’t care for me much anymore, but I finally decided I would text her an apologize for everything I could possibly think of that I did wrong, everything. And I got back “I haven’t been talking to a lot of people, Taylor.” I knew that was a lie she did and I knew it. I saw it happen, I heard about it from other people and what she said to them I heard too. So I left her alone. And then one day I got a text from her and it was something along the lines of “I miss you and I realize what I did and we need to hang out” and we did, and it was awkward. This was my best friend that I told everything to and it was awkward. Months later she was gone again, she wasn’t talking again and when we did she gave me one words or just simple emojis, I gave up and I let go and it was hard but I did it because there’s no use talking with someone who doesn’t care to talk and somehow someone noticed and asked me on ask.fm if we were still friends. I answered honestly “I don’t think she wants to be my friend anymore.” She then texted me with a screenshot and said “LOL k.” That right then for me was validation, and it turned into a huge fight which ended with “let’s just end this friendship now, Taylor.” And that was it, I don’t expect to hear from her and I don’t want to because I know it’ll end up like this again and it’ll hurt again and I don’t want to hurt anymore and I’ve already cried and cried and cried for nights on end, I wanted to die or at least not live for now and fast forward, but the whole reason I’m telling this story is to let you know that I won’t die, that I know it’s going to get better and that I know better friendships will be formed. I respect her and I love her very much, she’ll make better friends and I will too and that’s a promise to myself and to you.